Anxiety is a natural occurrence in life that most often shows up in transitions. Transitions involve change and the unknown, which activate body systems that are designed to ensure your safety and survival. Although society gives you messages that tell you there is something wrong if you feel anxious, a little bit of anxiety in life is normal and healthy. Its presence lets you know that your systems are working to keep you safe from whatever is posing a threat to you and your well-being. Anxiety therapy can help you manage your anxiety in a way that will help you to be more productive and feel less overwhelmed.
How you respond to or attempt to manage your anxiety can impact the outcomes of challenges or conflicts that arise in your life and relationships.
If you respond by tightening up control or becoming rigid about how things need to be done this can increase the intensity and create tension and conflict in relationships. On the other hand, if you respond by numbing out it takes you away from the process of working through the issue. You will be moving away from health and well-being for yourself and or your relationships. Though these responses are natural and common, there are ways you can manage your anxiety that will offer you more peace and a deeper sense of well-being.
Read on for more info on cultivating healthy practices for managing your anxiety.
In the face of anxiety, most people respond in one of two ways: by trying to control it or by finding ways to distract themselves and numb it. If you are familiar with the “fight or flight” response, you might notice that these strategies mirror those same survival actions; confronting or “fighting” to gain control of the stressor or “fleeing” and seeking refuge from the stressor. These are natural responses initiated by our nervous system to keep us safe in the face of a threat.
Back in the day, a common threat might have looked like a lion trying to eat you.
Your brain would register the threat (the lion) and immediately decide what response gave you your best chance of survival. If you had a stronger likelihood of surviving by fighting the lion, your systems would flood your body with adrenaline and other neurochemicals to give the temporary burst of energy and fear suppression you needed to fight the lion successfully. If you were unlikely to survive a lion fight based on your brain’s calculations, your systems would release adrenaline and a mix of other neurochemicals that would allow you to run and seek refuge until the lion lost interest and moved on.
Today, you and your life are far more complex and nuanced than this.
A modern-day threat might be a deadline at work or a fight with your partner. These won’t necessarily kill you in the moment, but your brain reads them with the same level of intensity as that lion. This mismatch between how you interpret the threat and how your brain interprets the threat requires you to override some of these instinctive survival responses and engage your systems differently in order to achieve the outcomes you want for your life and well-being.
So, let’s talk about what these common and natural responses to non-life-threatening stressors (i.e. trying to control the stressor or hide from it) can offer and cost you for using them.
When you “fight” a stressor by attempting to control it, you likely engage creative problem-solving skills, determination, and perseverance. These work at solving whatever problems need to be solved in order to bring peace to the situation. That’s a great skill set to have in life. I’ll bet it’s helped you navigate some pretty tough situations and given you a sense of accomplishment from overcoming challenges on many occasions. I bet that practice has also built a deep well of resilience within you. Those are all awesome things!
This approach, which can serve up some serious “I’ve got the power” vibes, can also be unhelpful in preparing you to deal when a stressor is totally out of your control, like say this pandemic or other life circumstance that you can’t actually do anything to change.
It gives you a sense of security (“I’ve got the power”) rather than actual security (i.e. actually having the power to change circumstances beyond your control). The hard truth is that security is never guaranteed because life is constantly changing and there will always be circumstances that are beyond your control.
That reality can be tough to take in because it can make you feel powerless and vulnerable.
Each of those feelings are uncomfortable so building up a protective layer to avoid feeling it makes total sense!
When you “flee” from a stressor by distracting and numbing out, you create a temporary sense of peace for yourself. This skill can provide a great sense of relief to your physical body and help protect you from some of the physical effects of stress and keep a sense of calm in your relationships. I’ll bet this practice has cultivated a deep level of patience in you as well. Those are all awesome things too!
This approach, which embodies a “this too shall pass” stance, can be unhelpful in preparing you to deal with stressors that do not go away on their own.
It can also be harmful to your well-being if you are not able to eventually re-engage in the process of working through the issue. If left unresolved, the stressor could compound or introduce other stressful situations and leave you seeking to perpetually numb out from your life to escape the feelings of overwhelm and helplessness. Similar to the other strategy, these feelings are uncomfortable and so it makes total sense that you would want to escape them! Side note: A temporary escape can be a really healthy thing. It’s embarking on a permanent string of escapes to cope with the natural challenges of life that can be problematic.
At the heart of anxiety is feeling vulnerable.
It makes sense that in response to a feeling of vulnerability you would seek shelter or put on a protective layer to avoid being hurt. These strategies can both offer great benefits in certain situations and leave you vulnerable in others. While there is no strategy for total protection or guarantee of never being hurt, there are practices that you can cultivate that will help you manage your anxiety and maintain a sense of well-being in the process.
Learning to manage your anxiety requires first noticing your anxiety.
How does it show up in your body? Maybe it’s tension in your throat, chest, or stomach. Perhaps you’re noticing yourself feeling more irritable or teary than usual. These cues can tell you that you’re feeling threatened by something. You can begin to protect yourself by becoming curious about what feels threatening to you, ideally without judgement of yourself. From there you can identify tangible things that can reduce the feeling of threat. Could you ask for a deadline extension? Would it help to call a babysitter so that you can take a few hours off from being a parent and focus on other things? Identifying who and what can support you in facing the stressor is key.
Then once the stressor is managed, you can release the stress from your body.
Take a 5-minute dance break or a walk in nature. Moving your body can interrupt anxious thought cycles and release stress chemicals from your body following a stressful interaction. Cultivating a daily practice of deep breathing, meditation, consistent sleep, healthy eating, loving connection, and/or physical exercise can help reduce anxiety. These also help you build trust in your ability to manage life’s natural challenges and stressors. When you can trust your ability to meet your needs or ask for help meeting them during stress, you can let go of some of that protective armor and escape from facing the challenge. This is because you will have what you need to sit with the discomfort of anxiety and care for yourself through it.
Want more support to manage your anxiety so that you can live your best life? We are here to help you on that path. Contact us to set up an appointment with an anxiety therapist in St. Pete!
Ready to Start Therapy to Help Manage Your Anxiety in Florida?
Beginning the journey to your best self is easier than most of the things we’re all doing right now! Anxiety therapy does not have to wait. You can get the mental health support you need with a skilled therapist in St. Pete or with online therapy in Florida. To begin, just follow these simple steps:
- Contact us to request an appointment
- Meet with one of our experienced therapists.
- Get support & begin your journey toward mental wellness & connection today!
Other Mental Health and Wellness Services at ME-Therapy
At ME-Therapy, we believe in the importance of mental, emotional & physical wellbeing. Our therapists want to help your mind but also want to feed your soul. This means we take a holistic approach to mental health. In order to do this, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our St. Petersburg office and online including therapy for women, therapy for men, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and holistic, spiritual therapy. For couples and relationships, we want you to know that our relationship therapists are here for you ALL. In addition to marriage counseling, we provide sex therapy, affair recovery counseling, and poly-friendly kink aware therapy.
