Recently I was thinking about the difference between fitting in and belonging. They may sound similar but in actuality, one allows for growth, authenticity, and wholeness and the other asks you to mold yourself into something that someone else or the world around you has decided is better. Lots of you may have an experience of trying to fit in from childhood. This is a very effective survival mechanism for social circumstances. As you have moved into adulthood it is possible that you haven’t made the shift away from trying to be something you are not and fully into being who you are.
Fitting in requires that you cut off or re-form part of who you are to fit a mold.
You might think of it in terms of trying to shove (fit in) a round object into a square hole. It doesn’t really fit well because the shapes are different. In order to make it fit you would have to shave off parts of the rounded edges of the circle or break out parts of the straight edges of the square. When you try to fit in you often have to cut off parts of your true self or add parts that aren’t part of who you really are. Cutting off parts of who you are limits your potential and your growth. It can increase anxiety and depression. The more able you are to know yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself the better able you will be to thrive rather than survive.
Belonging, on the other hand, involves being grounded in your own authenticity.
Belonging begins with you and your ability to honor and love all the true parts of you. From this place of belonging in your own heart, you can move about the world being on the lookout for the rest of your tribe, the community around you that you can belong in and to. This community doesn’t require you to cut off parts of yourself. These tribe members also accept all of you for exactly who you are.
Authenticity, acceptance, and self-love are growth and healing oriented.
They involve allowing all the parts of you to exist and be. This is belonging in the heart. It is not about being different than who you are. It does not involve molding yourself to someone else’s ideal or expectations. There is freedom in belonging, freedom in being who you really are, freedom in authenticity.
It may feel scary to decide to make the shift from fitting into belonging, even as just a concept in your own mind.
Fitting in is often what is expected of you. Maybe it is the way that you squeezed yourself into your family’s ideas of what was acceptable, or how you stayed safe from bullying as a child. What better time than now to embrace all of who you are? How would it feel to settle into true belonging and be empowered to show up as you and be loved for who you are?
The first step is the awareness that you may not be living from your internal truth.
From that awareness, you can now learn what it feels like to be aligned with your values versus what it feels like to be trying to fit yourself into space or shape that is not yours. You can learn who you were meant to be before the world got ahold of you. You can find your voice and your authenticity.
Helping you step fully into your true you is the work that we are passionate about at ME-Therapy in St. Pete.
We work to create a safe space for you to explore all of who you are without needing to try to fit in. At ME-Therapy you already belong. We can help you find all the parts of who you are and live more authentically, with greater joy, less anxiety, more peace.
Ready to Start Therapy To Help You Find Your Way Back To YOU in St. Petersburg?
Beginning the journey to your best self is easier than most of the things we’re all doing right now! Therapy does not have to wait. You can get the mental health support you need with a skilled therapist in St. Pete or with online therapy in Florida. To begin, just follow these simple steps:
- Contact us to request an appointment
- Meet with one of our experienced therapists.
- Get support & begin your journey toward mental wellness & connection today!
Other Mental Health and Wellness Services at ME-Therapy
At ME-Therapy, we believe in the importance of mental, emotional & physical wellbeing. Our therapists want to help your mind but also want to feed your soul. This means we take a holistic approach to mental health. In order to do this, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our St. Petersburg office and online including therapy for women, therapy for men, trauma therapy, and holistic, spiritual therapy. For couples and relationships, we want you to know that our relationship therapists are here for you ALL. In addition to marriage counseling, we provide sex therapy, affair recovery counseling, and poly-friendly kink-aware therapy.
