Conversations about toxic romantic relationships are, thankfully, happening more often lately. But what about other types of toxic relationships? Whether it’s with a friend, spouse, coworker, parent or sibling, any of these types of relationships can be toxic. In this blog you will learn some toxic relationship red flags to be on the lookout for.
What makes a relationship toxic?
Any relationship that makes you feel small, anxious, fearful, drained, insecure, unhappy or controlled could be a toxic relationship. Are any specific people in your life popping into your head right now? If so, that’s ok. The first step in changing or releasing a toxic relationship is to identify it in the first place. And let’s be clear, nothing you are doing is causing the toxicity in the relationship. Though, while you can’t control the other person’s behavior, you do have the power to shift your response to it. You even have the power to walk away.
So let’s talk about specific warning signs of toxic relationships that might be calling to you to take action and change the relationship.
When you think about your interactions, how often have you felt drained when you were with this person? Worried, fearful, sad or tired instead of happy, respected, cared for, and important? If a relationship is stirring up more discomfort than happiness, it may be a sign to rethink it.
How about feeling constantly on edge or judged, does this feel familiar for you?
Walking on eggshells is exhausting and, at times, scary. Constantly being unsure of what the other person is thinking or feeling, or wondering if they’ll be set off at any moment definitely counts as toxic. Feeling confident in your choices and actions is important to being in healthy relationships with others and living your life authentically.
You feel controlled and as if your opinion doesn’t matter.
Again, does any specific face come to mind? Feeling as if you always need to filter your thoughts, needs, and wants can be a big sign that you’re in a toxic relationship with this person.
Abuse doesn’t always mean physical violence.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who forces you to do certain things that you feel uncomfortable with such as sexual activities, substance use or even going out to places that you expressed make you uneasy… this can count as abuse, and be part of toxic relationships.
Another warning sign to pay attention to is being deprived of certain needs like food, financial support, shelter or affection. Being around a person that does not respect your personal boundaries and/or tries to make you do things you’ve expressed make you uncomfortable, can be labeled as toxic.
There’s no sense of privacy.
Everywhere you go, every person you see, and every message you send is monitored by this person. A relationship is, ideally, a mutually beneficial experience to add to both people’s lives. It is not supposed to consume your being and take away your individuality. If you feel you can’t be your genuine self with this person, it can indicate a toxic relationship.
Do you find yourself feeling guilty or have trouble trusting yourself?
Taking responsibility for your actions in relationships with others is an important piece in making sure relationships are healthy, but being made to feel as if your actions alone contribute to the wellbeing or harm to the relationship is unfair and toxic. Constantly telling yourself that your partner’s bad mood and angry outburst wouldn’t have happened if you would have “just done better” or “kept my mouth shut” isn’t fair to you.
Are friends or family members expressing concern about your relationship?
If so, do you feel embarrassed or hurt? It can be easy to overlook hurtful or uncomfy aspects of our relationships. Hey, love is blind! So if you find those closest to you expressing their concerns, try to listen. Especially if you find yourself hearing the same points of view from multiple people. They may be seeing something that you are missing, or potentially even trying to deny.
It can be hard to admit to yourself that you are in a toxic relationship, but being aware of the warning signs can be the first step in making changes in the relationship or even letting it go entirely.
If you find that a relationship in your life causes you to feel drained, on edge, judged, controlled, opinion less, constantly monitored, guilty, mistrustful of yourself or responsible for your partner’s actions… it may be time to rethink having the relationship in your life.
Other people might be gently, or loudly, pointing out what they’re seeing to you. It could be scary! If you find yourself wondering if you’re in a toxic relationship and wanting to find ways to take back your power or create more boundaries, we want to help you. We get it, this process can be scary. Therapy can be a great tool in assessing how the relationship contributes to your life, and can help you see how to rebuild or end the relationship to help you live your best life.
Ready to Start Therapy To Help You Navigate your Relationships, with a St. Pete therapist?
Beginning the journey to your best self is easier than most of the things we’re all doing right now! Therapy does not have to wait. You can get the mental health support you need with a skilled therapist in St. Pete or with online therapy in Florida. To begin, just follow these simple steps:
- Contact us to request an appointment
- Meet with one of our experienced therapists.
- Get support & begin your journey toward mental wellness & connection today!
Other Mental Health and Wellness Services at ME-Therapy
At ME-Therapy, we believe in the importance of mental, emotional & physical wellbeing. Our therapists want to help your mind but also want to feed your soul. This means we take a holistic approach to mental health. In order to do this, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our St. Petersburg office and online including therapy for women, therapy for men, trauma therapy, and holistic, spiritual therapy. For couples and relationships, we want you to know that our relationship therapists are here for you ALL. In addition to marriage counseling, we provide sex therapy, affair recovery counseling, and poly-friendly kink-aware therapy.
