The decision to commit long-term to a partner can be exciting and daunting. Whether you and your partner have chosen marriage or the next right step to long-term commitment, premarital counseling can be a helpful support. It is normal to feel anxious and delighted. Maybe you feel concerned because those fights – while rare – are big ones. Will they get worse? It’s common to have questions about compatibility long-term.
Premarital counseling is a place to celebrate the strengths in your relationship as well as explore, together, some of the questions you may have.
Planning a wedding or navigating the details about moving in together can be stressful. Premarital counseling can provide support and tools to reduce anxiety and encourage one another throughout the process.
What exactly will we talk about?
Sometimes there is the misconception that therapy is only for when something is “wrong.” It may seem odd to think about counseling at such an exciting time full of anticipation and joy. Even during this exciting time, stressors can pop up. Wedding planning can be stressful. Merging lives can bring new opportunities and challenges. Premarital counseling is a place for self-discovery and growing together. To set intentions for how you want the relationship to grow.
Here are some topics that are often a part of premarital counseling–
Finances:
How we think about money and the goals we have around money can differ. These values and goals can be informed from our own experiences and from our families. Discussing this aspect during premarital counseling can help you and your partner navigate how you want to approach finances together.
Communication:
This is often the number one concern when couples decide to go to therapy – they want to improve communication. While this is likely a life-long journey of practicing better communication, premarital counseling can help each of you understand more about your own style. This awareness then opens the door to understand your partner’s style and how you can come together for the most effective communication. Skills and tools can help you navigate everyday communication as well as more challenging topics.
Children:
Family planning comes with many unknowns, but it is important to check-in that having children is something both partners want and are committed to, or not. This topic can be vulnerable, but essential when planning a future together.
Sexuality and Intimacy:
Sometimes expectations can differ on frequency and types of sexual intimacy within a partnership. Sometimes the topic is avoided altogether with the assumption that it will just work itself out. Like many elements in a relationship, sexuality takes communication and trust. Premarital counseling can help you start these conversations. To help empower you to create the best intimacy that fits your partnership now – and as it evolves.
Navigating family relationships:
When two people choose to commit to marriage that also involves the merging of two families. Families can look as varied and unique as each individual. This brings a variety of strengths and challenges. It can be helpful to examine expectations and goals for how families will be a part of your merged lives. This can mean exploring options for how to navigate holiday gatherings, or perhaps gaining skills for setting boundaries when needed.
Conflict Resolution:
Often, couples view fighting as a sign that something is wrong with the relationship. That is not necessarily the case. It is normal and understandable to have arguments and disagreements – in fact, that can be expected! Premarital counseling can provide tools to understand how you show up in arguments, how your partner shows up, and skills to walk through conflict resolution. This can be scary and hard, but premarital counseling can help provide the starting foundation before arguments turn overwhelming. It’s important to note that while arguments and conflict in a relationship are normal, it is never ok when there is verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Conflict resolution in a relationship must always involve respect, accountability, and repair.
Spiritual beliefs:
You are made of body, mind and soul – or spirit. Your spirituality can be expressed in many ways. That sometimes looks like participating in a particular religion or practice. If partners express spirituality in different ways and to different degrees, premarital counseling can help provide space to explore those differences. A place to examine how to respect and value one another’s beliefs and any expectations for participation.
Leisure activities and habits:
Maybe you and your partner share most interests and hobbies. Or usually agree on how you spend your time together. Sometimes you might have varied interests and that is what attracted you to each other. Perhaps this will be the first time living together and you have different habits. Premarital counseling can provide an opportunity for self-discovery. Coming together to honor one another’s interests whether those are shared or diverse. It can also help strengthen communication when habits clash.
Support for stress that can come with wedding planning.
Planning a wedding requires financial commitments, navigating emotional decisions, and the many tasks that come with creating a day to celebrate your union. Tension in your relationship can be common when tackling the details. That’s normal! You can receive support through premarital counseling if you are feeling stressed throughout the planning.
Does premarital counseling look like other types of counseling?
Premarital counseling can feel a bit more focused than regular therapy, but not necessarily! Depending on what works best for you and your partner, premarital counseling can include inventories taken outside of session and then discussed together. It can look like brief therapy (8-9 sessions) covering different topics each session. Or, it can be more long-standing (6-12 months before wedding/commitment). Premarital counseling can help set up a foundation for seeking support post-wedding. Seeing a couples therapist doesn’t mean something has to be wrong. Some couples enjoy the exploration and discovery together and would like to continue!
There isn’t a right or wrong time to do premarital counseling, although it generally happens at least a month prior to the wedding.
However, if a wedding date isn’t on the books, or if you are only in the stages of thinking about engagement, premarital counseling can be a place to start. Long-term commitment can raise questions and bring up anxiety. This is normal and you are not alone.
The therapists at ME-Therapy are dedicated to making this a collaborative experience. We strive to help you celebrate the strengths in your relationship and are here to support and provide tools to navigate the relationship challenges. Premarital counseling can be fun as you learn more about yourself and your partner, deepening the connection.
Ready to Start Premarital Counseling in St. Pete?
Beginning the journey to your best relationship is easier than most of the things we’re all doing right now! Premarital counseling does not have to wait. You can get the mental health support you need with a skilled therapist in St. Pete or with online therapy in Florida. To begin, just follow these simple steps:
- Contact us to request an appointment
- Meet with one of our experienced therapists.
- Get support & begin your journey toward mental wellness & connection today!
Other Mental Health and Wellness Services at ME-Therapy
At ME-Therapy, we believe in the importance of mental, emotional & physical wellbeing. Our therapists want to help your mind but also want to feed your soul. This means we take a holistic approach to mental health. In order to do this, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our St. Petersburg office and online including therapy for women, therapy for men, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and holistic, spiritual therapy. For couples and relationships, we want you to know that our relationship therapists are here for you ALL. In addition to marriage counseling, we provide sex therapy, affair recovery counseling, and poly-friendly kink aware therapy.
