If you or someone close to you has ever experienced depression, then you likely know the sadness, irritability, sense of helplessness, lack of motivation or interest in usual activities that often accompany it. Living with depression can be really challenging. It can darken your view of the world, making things appear more negative. In relationships, this can erode trust, increase tension and make it difficult to connect with your partner. While people in healthy relationships can struggle to show affection for one another, depression can make it challenging to show emotion or spend time with loved ones. Partners in a relationship with someone experiencing depression can experience feelings of helplessness or begin to experience anxiety and depression themselves. The good news is recognizing the effects of depression on your relationship and practicing a few helpful techniques can help you and your partner navigate through the depression and cultivate a healthy relationship.
Depression isn’t one size fits all and will look different for each person and relationship.
However, here are four common ways that depression affects relationships. I invite you to read on and see if you recognize any of these effects of depression in your relationship. If you answer yes to any, keep scrolling for helpful tips you and your partner can begin practicing today to restore connection and intimacy.
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- Depression can increase tension and conflict between you and your partner. Depression minimizes the positive and magnifies the negative. So when your partner forgets to complete the task you asked them to or leaves clothes around the house, you automatically think they’re inconsiderate and clearly don’t care about you. These thoughts lead to feelings and those feelings might lead to criticism of your partner. When depression manifests as criticism, your partner might feel like they are walking on eggshells.
- Depression can create feelings of isolation and loneliness for both partners. Depression can make it feel impossible to muster up the energy to spend time with others, even loved ones. On top of that, negative views and feelings mixed with fears of being a burden on others can lead those experiencing depression to withdraw further. This disconnection and distance between partners is isolating and lonely for both people.
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- Depression can create self-doubt and doubt about your relationship. It is a common misconception that people in healthy relationships don’t get depressed or ever feel unhappy. Based on this belief, feeling unhappy or depressed in your relationship might lead you to falsely believe that your relationship isn’t healthy or isn’t the one for you. On the contrary, it is natural for relationships to have rough patches that can feel uncomfortable or even unpleasant at times. In many cases, working through those rough patches is where trust and emotional intimacy can be built. When experiencing depression, your perception is slanted toward the negative and that can impact the way you view yourself and the way you think your partner views you. This can lead to further doubt about your worth, desirability, and the ability of your relationship to withstand challenges.
- Depression can challenge your sex life. Depression has been proven to lower libido, decrease sexual excitement, delay or diminish orgasm, and create erection issues. These challenges can create new or compound existing insecurities along with feelings of frustration and disconnection.
All of these effects of depression on your relationship can function like roadblocks to trusting and connecting with your partner.
So what can you do to get through them? You can begin to work toward feeling secure in your relationship by working on feeling secure in yourself.
This journey begins with self-compassion, a practice that can soothe self-doubt.
Self-doubt says “I am defective, flawed, or worthless.” When those feelings rise up, it is a natural response to be critical of ourselves. We want to become more like our expectation of what is “good or right”. This can be unhelpful because it keeps you focused on what needs to be “fixed.” Self-compassion offers another approach. It encourages you to see your situation through a different lens. Think of it as if you were hearing a good friend tell you this was their situation. Offer yourself the same compassion and care that you would to them. This allows you to more successfully move forward by acknowledging that no person or situation is perfect, and that you can grow into the version of yourself that you want to be.
Trusting in yourself and your ability to grow and change in healthy ways can help you navigate through some of the effects of depression on your relationship.
Developing self-compassion also builds a deeper capacity for you to offer your partner compassion too. Offering compassion can help to decrease tension and create space for more vulnerable conversations. Discussing vulnerable thoughts and emotions surrounding your current circumstances or challenges can help build trust and emotional intimacy between you and your partner. Emotional intimacy thwarts feelings of loneliness and isolation, and can actually help alleviate some of the existing symptoms of depression and their challenging effects on your relationship.
Facing depression can be challenging and can have very real effects on your relationship.
Recognizing the effects of depression on your relationship and taking steps to practice self-compassion and create space for vulnerable conversations with your partner about the effects of depression on your relationship can help you navigate through them and cultivate a healthy relationship. If you want more support navigating the effects of depression on your relationship, we’re here to help. Contact us to set up an appointment for couple therapy or relationship counseling in St. Pete. to begin the journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling relationship today!
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Beginning the journey to your best self is easier than most of the things we’re all doing right now! Trauma therapy does not have to wait. You can get the mental health support you need with a skilled therapist in St. Pete or with online therapy in Florida. To begin, just follow these simple steps:
- Contact us to request an appointment
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Other Mental Health and Wellness Services at ME-Therapy
At ME-Therapy, we believe in the importance of mental, emotional & physical wellbeing. Our therapists want to help your mind but also want to feed your soul. This means we take a holistic approach to mental health. In order to do this, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our St. Petersburg office and online including therapy for women, therapy for men, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and holistic, spiritual therapy. For couples and relationships, we want you to know that our relationship therapists are here for you ALL. In addition to marriage counseling, we provide sex therapy, affair recovery counseling, and poly-friendly kink aware therapy.
